Mind-Shakers

Many women remain single even when they want to get married. They wonder, “Why am I still single? Why can’t I find a man who will commit?” This frustration has nothing to do with looks, personality, level of success, or the availability of men. It does involve their style of approach. These women mistakenly approach their relationships with men the way they want men to approach them. They are repelled by the thought of a needy man, so they are very careful to not need a man. When asked if they need a man, they are proud to acknowledge that they don’t. In some cases it is as if they are disgusted to say the word “need” out loud. These are some of their responses: HOW SINGLE WOMEN RESPOND TO THE QUESTION “DO YOU NEED A MAN?” “No, I don’t need a man. But I would like a man in my life.” “No, I don’t need a man. But I want a man in my life.” “No, I don’t need a man. I can take care of myself. I just want to be with a man because I choose to, not because I need him.” “No, I don’t...

Finding a partner is like any other skill in life; it takes talent, education, and practice. The more information, education, and experience you have, the better you will be. Through gaining all three, your chances of mastering a skill are the highest. Shakespeare alluded to these three styles of learning when he said, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Another way of putting it is that there are runners, walkers, and jumpers. Let’s explore these styles in greater detail. THREE STYLES OF LEARNING Style One: Runners Some people are just gifted. They are born with an enormous talent. For example, they can sit down at a piano and practically start playing right away. They can just hear a song and then play it. They don’t need to read music. These gifted students or prodigies are the runners. They quickly find success and achievement in a particular endeavor. In relationships, runners are those few who just meet someone, fa...

The soul is that aspect of who we are that is most lasting. When the soul is attracted to someone and recognizes a mate, then with that person, because we experience a soul chemistry, the physical, emotional, and mental chemistry can also be sustained. Lasting physical attraction must find its source in our souls. On the level of the soul, you are the same throughout your life. The person who was a little child is the same person you are now. You are you all of your life. The soul is that part of you that doesn’t change . The way you physically look, the way you feel, and the way you think about things, however, do change. The most change happens on the physical level. Everything on the physical plane is always changing. As we progress to the emotional plane, we change less. All adults can easily reflect back and still feel many of the feelings they had in childhood or young adulthood. On the mental plane, change is even less. We tend to be interested in the same sort of...

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30 RSV). I don’t know what burden you’re carrying. I don’t know what’s weighing you down. But I do know the answer. Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30 RSV). For many years I never understood that verse, because I didn’t know what a yoke was. When Jesus says, “Take my yoke upon you,” it sounded to me like he was going to give me something else to deal with. My burden is already heavy enough, Lord. I don’t need to take your problems on me, too. A yoke is actually a board that has two arches in it th...

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV). If you want to know God’s will for your life, you’ve got to look at what you’re good at. Why would God give you certain gifts, abilities, and talents and not expect you to use them? That would be a waste. God gives you Spiritual gifts, Heart/passions, Abilities, a Personality, and Experiences (SHAPE) that make you unique, and when you take time to figure out how God has shaped you, it gives you direction for where you should go with your life. Ask yourself, “What am I good at? What do I love to do? What is my passion? What do I find exciting, and what do I find boring? What do people affirm in me? How can God use those abilities for his Kingdom?” Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (NIV). The word for “God’s handiwork” in Greek is the word ...

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20 NIV). You and I can never be the kind of people God wants us to be on our own. We were never intended to be. We all need people who are teaching us, sharing their lives with us, investing in us, and encouraging us to grow. The Bible tells us, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20 NIV). In fact, to be all that God calls you to be, you need to learn from at least four different kinds of people. Mentors – These are your coaches. I’ve had nine different mentors in my life. No one can teach you everything you need to know. One person will teach you in one area. Another person will teach you about something else. Role models – These are people who are already doing or have already done what you want to do. Many of the skills you’ve learned in your life, you’ve learned by watching others. Partners – You need co-workers and colleag...